Moving out of Anger…

Anger is one of the most common emotions we all experience; it is quite normal to get angry. However, it seems today many of us are getting angry more often and sometimes without very good reason. It’s all around us – we are bombarded with images and stories in the news as mainstream media sells ‘bad’ news. Sometimes without realizing it, we have visceral responses to what is happening around the world – it’s hard not to respond in disbelief and ultimately anger.

We also may respond to day-to-day events in anger; our boss ticks us off, our friend, spouse or others close to us misunderstand us, judge us, or offer opinions that make us become defensive and feel as if we’re being criticized, and ultimately we respond with remarks that in turn anger them. And thus, anger becomes a vicious circle. Our egos love to judge others and to subconsciously enter into -and stay in- conflict. As well, those closest to us know how to push our buttons, and it makes them feel loved if we enter into the drama of the stories they have created about us, as they can then offer their advice and try to ‘fix’ us.

We also may have layers of anger in our subconscious minds that we are not even aware of. Past events, abuses and/or other traumas are stored deep within us and we hold onto anger as a way to cope, as it is easier than dealing with the truth and the pain of the issue.

All around us advertising companies are convincing us to buy more because what we have isn’t enough (or the right brand, or not as good as last year’s model), and to stay busy ‘doing’ and ‘buying’ so we do not have the time to see what, how and why we respond to things in anger. In reality, this is one way we have become conditioned to escape anger or any other uncomfortable emotion. We get addicted to behaviours or substances – much easier than dealing with the discomfort of an emotion. These behaviours can include compulsive working out, shopping, overeating, and sex, drug and alcohol addiction to name a few. Anything to keep us from sitting quietly and being alone with our thoughts.

We are not taught in school how to deal with emotions, so many of us are living in a constant state of irritation, anger or other unhealthy emotions.

Many of us live days, weeks or even years in a state of anger. Imagine the toll that is taking on our health?

Quantum healing is now scientifically proven and accepted in the medical community. According to the principles of quantum healing, our bodies are energy and any emotion or thought with negative impact takes us out of our natural state of homeostasis (health and balance), and into a state of “dis-ease” in the body. It throws us out of balance. So if we are experiencing an emotion such as anger, the energy of that anger has an effect on our physical body – it creates a chemical reaction in our cells which throws off the delicate internal balance in any given organ. While we might not experience issues right away, over time, this imbalance in an organ can create much larger health issues down the road.

So how do we get of this state?

If we look back in history most of our enlightened leaders also felt anger, as it is a common emotion – but can you imagine Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa or the Dali Lama staying angry?

Or if anyone asked these leaders how they were doing, they would receive a verbal rundown of the daily drama of who annoyed them, or who ticked them off that day? Or what this or that person is not doing or should be doing? I really doubt it. If any of these leaders were in this state constantly they would not be able to share their wisdom, help others and hold and create so much positive energy.

These leaders realized that everybody is on their own path and journey and it is not our place to get mad, judge or offer opinions. So if your mother, father, or anyone did something that you felt was objectionable, remember they may have not done it intentionally to make you angry – they were doing the best they can with what they know. Perhaps it may have been a way for them to get out of their own pain – perhaps it was how they were conditioned to deal with life.

By staying angry at them, you’re really only hurting yourself – you cannot control what others do and sometimes this is the most difficult thing to realize.

Remember two famous quotes “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
And “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

If we want to rid ourselves of anger, one of the best ways is to go outside or somewhere quiet, and release that anger. Yell. Scream. Throw a rock in the water. Punch a pillow. Scream into a pillow. Write it down in a journal. Do some physical activity; kick-boxing is a great way to release physical emotions.

Take some quiet time to sit every day and see what emotions come up; this is an amazing tool for inner peace. As well this aids us to feel and process our emotions in a positive way. Try to look at the root of your anger – what is the real reason you’re feeling angry. It could be based on fear about something, or a disappointment in your own pattern of behaviour.

Once you have felt, released and processed this emotion, come back to a place of love, kindness, and forgiveness – for the person and for yourself as well. Recognize that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and what they’ve learned.

Next time someone acts in a certain way that makes you angry, try and set up your own boundaries within yourself. Say to yourself “I am not going to respond in anger and I am going to send them love, joy, happiness”. These are the responses of our heart and soul and what we put out will comes back to us. By changing your response to them, you will ultimately change their response to you. By responding to people, and situations like this it stops the cycle of anger. Why would you want to stay in this state? Your ego says, “stay mad”, “fight back”,” they are bad and not like me” and “I’m right and I need to win”. We all need an ego, but this is the dark side of our ego. The light side of our ego is love, joy, confidence and acceptance. This is where we can find peace and happiness.


David Lawson is an Entrepreneur and the founder of two packaging businesses – ( He is also co-founder of a healing Centre in Oakville,Ontario – (